I am the reigning Queen of the Sovereign Empire Procrastination

The weapons of dirt destruction. 50mm ISO100 1/20s F/2

I think that I will do almost anything to avoid doing the housework. Actually, I don’t think I will do almost anything, I actually do. I mean, how many people do you know who would rather squeeze dog anal glands and then bathe the poor beasts instead of doing some dusting and vacuuming?? I have done this.

So far today I have slept in (glorious!!), had breakfast, walked the dogs, done a load of washing, read the junk mail, had a cup of tea, checked all the social media via the laptop, reviewed two large files of photos and deleted the crap ones, made a couple of phone calls and tried my hardest to ignore the inch deep collection of dust on all the flat surfaces. All the while, ignoring the three-inch carpet of dog hair on the floor.

My mother and father are probably sitting there with the iPad, reading this, with the feeling of their skin crawling at the thought of all the dust and dog hair about the place. My parent’s home is spotless. Not obsessively, display home spotless, but cleaned weekly on a schedule so that it’s always clean and tidy.

They don’t fear the unexpected visit, where you find yourself apologising for the mess. Not like me.

And I never used to be like this. I’d been trained by the best. I was regimented and thorough with my housework and laundry and lawn mowing and car washing and dog bathing. So much so that friends would often joke about the cleanliness of my house and life. I’m not really sure when the malaise set in or why it set it, but set in it did.

And now I’ve wasted another half an hour of possible housework time blogging about how terribly slack I am. I am the reigning Queen of Procrastination.

All hail to the Queen!!!