Worn out

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If you’ve seen the wonderful new movie “Bohemian Rhapsody” you may remember a little quote from Mary and Freddie’s perfect reply:

“You’re burning the candle at both ends,”

“Yes, but the glow is so divine!”

The glow is divine, but eventually all the wax is gone and there is nothing left.

I have been burning the candle at both ends. I’ve probably even broken the candle in half and have been burning both pieces at both ends. This week I, and the universe, realised that there was almost nothing left to burn and I was shown signs that I needed to take time out for me. Time to stop and be still.

I was noticing that I was simply ‘functioning’ in my day to day life. I’m not one to simply ‘function’. I participate. However, I think I had been participating in life to a point where there was too much participating and there was no time to stop either physically or mentally.

Circumstances (aka The Universe) intervened this week and plans that had been made were suddenly cancelled and plans that are usually made were not possible to be scheduled. I sensed that the universe was doing this on purpose. The universe was looking out for me. The old me would have ignored the signs and tried to cram things into the empty spaces in my calendar. The wiser me read the signs and agreed with the universe. It was time to take a breath.

I can’t remember the last time I sat on the couch and watched a DVD. You know, really just sat on the couch, not stood in front of the couch doing the ironing………..but I did just that on Thursday and Friday nights. Me, in my pyjamas, with the dogs and a cup of tea. Bliss.

The house was so still and quiet yesterday. No music, no TV, no phone calls, the street outside was quiet. The peace of the quiet was soothing. I hadn’t realised how jarred my senses were until they were allowed to rest.

There was something I was meant to go to in the late afternoon. I had RSVP’d in the affirmative, but by 3pm I knew that I didn’t want to leave the sanctuary of my home. Not only that I didn’t want to , but that I couldn’t and I shouldn’t. I knew in my soul that going out into the world yesterday would destroy the inner peace that was returning to me.

I needed to hibernate and re-centre. I needed to be selfish and look after me before my body forced me to stop, and I know from past experience that my body can be a right forceful bitch when she has something to say.

If you were to ask me what I did yesterday I couldn’t