“What drug can I get you?”

A friend of mine recently made a life-changing decision to stop drinking. It was a decision made after consideration of a number of factors that are important and personal to himself, but one of the reasons was the awareness that he had begun to develop an ‘unhealthy reliance’ on alcohol.

This decision of his came a couple of weeks prior to the annual event known as ‘Dry July’ but the timing has probably been beneficial because he can become accustomed to not drinking and not be berated relentlessly by his friends and associates. It’s Dry July. Lots of people are not drinking.

I’m the fly on the wall watching this friend’s ‘light-bulb’ moments. I am a non-drinker, I have been aware of what he is suddenly experiencing socially my whole life. I’m in the VIP seat witnessing epiphanies. I have somehow become his sounding board and his non-judgemental voice of reason.

Dry July is one month, in Australia, every year where people can say ‘I’m not drinking for a month. Please support my decision and donate to my chosen charity.’ Sounds great. It IS great. But….. OH MY GOD ……….. the whingeing and complaining that accompanies this decision is enough to drive a person to drink!!! EVERYONE has to be made aware of the sacrifices Dry Julyers are making because they are not partaking of an alcoholic beverage for an entire 31 days. The social agony of not enjoying a glass of red with their friends at dinner. *GASP!* Invitations to go out will be politely but loudly rejected because the mere idea of not getting hammered with their friends is unacceptable. And really, who wants to be the sober one when everyone else is getting drunk? Drunk people are so unpleasant to be around when you’re not in the same state of inebriation.

There will be many people attempting Dry July because they are aware that they may have an issue that needs addressing and this public event is a safe and non-judgemental way to make a start, however, there are hundreds of people all around Australia who are not doing Dry July for the numerous health benefits. Oh no! Most of the people attempting Dry July are doing it on a dare, to raise money, because someone thought it would be a good idea for someone else in the office to do it………. Come August 1st most of these people will be making up for lost drinking time. The pubs, clubs and bars around the nation are already ordering up big for the return to drinking.

Alcohol permeates our society. Every event that you attend is fuelled by wine, beer, cider, spirits or cocktails. It doesn’t matter if you are attending the football or a baby’s baptism, if there are adults in attendance so is alcohol.

Why?

Alcohol is a drug. It alters one’s consciousness. Alcohol changes a person’s behaviour. It prevents people connecting in a real and meaningful way. Alcohol is the panacea and the excuse for every ailment or wrong-doing known to man.

Feeling sad……..have a drink.

Feeling happy………. have a drink.

Sun is shining……have a drink.

The weather is miserable…….have a drink.

New baby……..have a drink.

Someone died……….have a drink.

Won a major contract………..have a drink.

Lost your job……….have a drink.

On a date………have a drink.

Relationship ended………..have a drink.

Thanks for your help……..let me buy you a drink.

It’s your birthday………let me buy you a drink.

Punched someone……..had been drinking.

Yelled at the kids……….had been drinking.

Blew hundreds of dollars at the casino…….had been drinking.

Crashed the car into a fence………had been drinking.

Behaved irresponsibly………had been drinking.

If you stop for a moment and think about alcohol as a drug then you start to see your friendly bartender as your drug dealer. He will ply you with the substance you crave for as long as the money holds out. You will be enticed with ‘Happy Hour’ where you can get your hit cheaply and once your ability to think rationally has gone then the cost goes up, but you don’t notice because the drug has dulled your senses. Bartender stopped serving you? Get your mate to buy the drinks.

You need this drug to relax you say. No way you could get out on the dance floor without another couple of relaxants. Impossible to start a conversation without a shot of courage. Talk and flirt with someone you find attractive without a shot or two under your belt?Perish the thought!!

A glass or two of your chosen drug makes you feel good.

OF COURSE IT DOES!!! IT’S A DRUG!!! That’s what drugs are designed to do. Whether your drug is cocaine or a Cosmopolitan it is essentially the same thing. The only difference is the social, governmental and legal acceptability of alcohol.

Apparently I’m strange. I’m a bit of a freak. People don’t know how to behave around me. Bartenders don’t know how to handle my request for a raspberry cordial in flat water with no ice, though they have no problem with the request for an extra dry martini, shaken not stirred, with three olives.  Wineries blatantly ignore my request for a glass of water, even though technically I am the designated driver and they should be treating the person who is sober and responsible for the other members of the group with respect.

And let’s not even start with dating! Where am I supposed to meet someone for a drink if I don’t drink? News for you gentlemen. I do drink. I simply don’t drink alcohol. I don’t have a problem with you having a glass of something, I can drink water, I just have a problem if you drink a few glasses or cans of something.

If you are doing Dry July take the time to notice what is happening around you and to you. Has your sleep quality improved? Are you losing weight? Are your eyes clearer? Are your thoughts clearer? How much money are you saving? Are your acquaintances real friends or fellow drug users? How does it feel to remember what you did on Friday night? What is it like to make love to your partner when your are not ‘altered’ by alcohol? Are you more productive at work? How do you feel being in a room of people who are drinking? Is your interaction with your family and friends more connected?

I hope my friend’s decision to give up alcohol is a permanent one. It is a big choice to make and a choice that is not popular among the majority of the population. He will be met with resistance, anger, disbelief, mistrust, coercion, shock, laughter and humiliation. I have my fingers crossed for him.